The past is not real.
It’s like a movie. It’s over. Unhappy images from the past come back and make you suffer and feel unsafe.
You must remind yourself that while it is OK to feel bad about these images, that they are no longer reality. It can’t hurt you anymore – they are just images.
You can get a lot of relaxation, comfort, and become happy from just reminding yourself of this when these unhappy thoughts of the past grow inside of you. You can learn to be happy by living in the present, and not the past.
The same goes for the future.
Whether it is tomorrow or a year from now, it is not real. It hasn’t happened yet. These are only images that your mind predicts might happen, and usually those predictions are founded in anxiety and unhappiness. You can’t learn how to be happy until you recognize that thoughts about the future are not reality.
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How to be happy – the first step
You can learn how to be happy in all of life’s diverse and changing situations by focusing on the present.
The first step to being in the present moment and feeling happy about it is to think about the very simple things and to enjoy them. Thoughts like “I am breathing in right now and the air is fresh and feels good in my lungs as the oxygen is refreshed in my brain” are very much in the present and have the power to make you quite happy.
The next time you go to eat something don’t do anything else but eat. Don’t watch TV. Don’t text on your phone, don’t surf on the computer. Just look outside a window at the landscape and take it all in. Taste your food and feel it’s textures. Picture the food growing outside and now becoming a part of you as it goes down to your stomach. You are one with the both the moment and everything around you. If you only eat when you can “only think about eating” as a rule two things will happen. One, food will make you more happy and eating will be more enjoyable. Two, you will lose weight as a result of less mindless eating that does you no good at all.
How to be happy by accepting the changing world
Everything keeps changing around you. Good thing because your parents would still be changing your diapers if it wern’t. You were born to get sick and die. So was your family. Accept this. It is how life works. We are all part of this one being called “life as we know it” and it is always changing. Nothing really appears or disappears but it is always changing around. Every situation is temporary.
The fear of death and becoming sick or unhealthy is not a legitimate fear, yet it is the cause of nearly all of our unhappiness, whether we realize it or not. The world changes. That’s how things work. Be sure to enjoy the fresh air as it comes. You won’t be able to look back and blame the air for not being there. It was there all along. So many fresh breathes to be happy about. So many yummy bites of food that we enjoy when we are hungry to make us happy. Do not allow images of a changing future to mess up these plentiful happy moments.
How to be happy by accepting others who make you unhappy
Try to remember that the only reason why someone will want to make you unhappy is because they are even more unhappy themselves. They suffer. Most of the reasons that people want others to be unhappy stems from their own fear of death and illness. They want to feel “more alive than you” in the mean time. They think this will make them happy. Let me clue you in that making these “haters” unhappy as revenge will not make you happy.
Actually, it’s just the opposite. Having compassion and making others happy will make you more happy. So when someone is making you suffer, you must understand that they do so because they are unhappy. All I ask that you try to understand them, for starters. Understand that they try to make you unhappy because they are unhappy. Think about the reasons why they might be unhappy, and know that when they try to make you unhappy along with them that this process does not make them any happier after all.
This is sad for them if you think about it. What just happened? Someone was unhappy, so they tried to make you unhappy, and they became more unhappy. Sad. If you now go and combat their “unhappiness slinging” by slinging your own unhappiness back at them, you become more unhappy too. It’s an endless and terrible cycle.
By understanding the situation as I just explained it, however, you might feel compassion for these unhappy offenders. “Wow”, you might think, “my Mom must be really unhappy to say something like that to me, knowing that it will make me unhappy.” Once you understand this, you will want to help them. Guess what happens when you help them? Yup – you gain happiness and they gain happiness. Apply this in your life especially to those around you, like your parents, spouses, and kids. Wait until you see the results! It’s so cool. Everyone becomes happier and it’s all thanks to you!
How to be happy by understanding your past
When you were born things instantly became kind of dangerous and unhappy. You had to breath, lest you suffocate. You needed all kinds of things and relied completely on those around you for survival. You learned quickly about human needs and pain and what it was like to feel unsafe. Why does a child scream when mommy or daddy try to leave? Because their want for survival has figured out that you really need them around or you’re screwed.
You are still carrying that child around with you. You still have that want for safety and survival. To always be happy, you must comfort yourself that these things will be taken care of. Whenever I feel threatened I must reming myself – and that child within me – that I can take care of it myself now just fine. I don’t need mommy and daddy anymore to survive. Happyness comes from comforting yourself. Realising that you are worried about survival as you did as a little child, but that there is no need to worry because you can handle the things needed for survival now.
In summary, you can always be happy by living in the present and realizing that past and future images are fiction to reality. They may as well just be a movie. Instead concentrate of the present. Every breath and every bite of food, for starters. Accept others for they way they are. Evil people exist and that’s just how it is. People who try to make you not happy are afraid of death and simply not happy themselves, and that they are trying to make you unhappy will only make them even more unhappy. Sad. Help them change this and you will both be more happy. Make the people around you more happy armed with this knowledge. Finally, understand that much of your worrying is leftover from childhood. Comfort those worries thoughts.
Thank you for reading and always be happy.
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